Expert Witness Journal Issue 64 December 2025 - Flipbook - Page 57
Determining
Reliability
in
Clinical
Understanding Con昀氀ict and
Negligence
Litigation
–
Evidential
Narcissism in Divorce and Separation
and Expert Considerations
by Grainne Fahy & Yasmin Khan-Gunns
Within family proceedings, narcissistic traits can
appear in a number of ways:
Family law is not only about statutes, evidence,
and procedure. It is also about human behaviour
– how people think, feel, and act when their most
personal relationships break down. Every solicitor
who practises in this 昀椀eld soon learns that success in
a case is as much about managing psychology as it is
about managing law.
•
Financial control: withholding information,
refusing disclosure, or using money as a means
of dominance.
•
Emotional manipulation: gaslighting or
rewriting events to make the other person
question their reality.
•
Litigation as punishment: using the court
process itself as a tool for continued control,
sometimes through repeated or unnecessary
applications.
•
Charm followed by devaluation: alternating
between cooperation and hostility to unsettle
the other party.
Why Psychology Matters in Family Law
Divorce, separation, and disputes over children
activate powerful emotional responses. Feelings of
loss, rejection, fear, and anger can drive behaviour
that seems irrational from the outside but makes
perfect sense when seen through the lens of grief or
trauma.
Clients often experience what psychologists describe
as the 昀椀ght, 昀氀ight, freeze, or fawn responses. Some
may seek control through endless correspondence
or 昀椀nancial scrutiny; others withdraw or avoid all
communication. Understanding these patterns helps
family lawyers tailor their advice, set boundaries,
and prevent escalation.
While it is not for lawyers to diagnose a personality
disorder, awareness of these traits helps anticipate
con昀氀ict patterns and protect clients from
psychological harm.
Managing the Impact on the Legal Process
Where narcissistic dynamics exist, standard disputeresolution models often fail. Mediation can still be
useful but only if the mediator is trained in power
imbalance and coercive control. In many cases,
shuttle mediation, hybrid mediation, or arbitration
may be safer and more e昀昀ective.
Research by Dr Elizabeth Kübler-Ross and later
family psychologists such as Dr Susan Forward shows
that people move through stages of denial, anger,
bargaining, depression, and acceptance at di昀昀erent
speeds. When one partner has reached acceptance
but the other is still in denial, litigation risk is at its
peak. Timing therefore becomes a psychological as
well as a legal consideration.
Clear communication is key. Family lawyers should:
Recognising Narcissistic Behaviour in
Family Cases
In recent years, there has been increased public
interest in the concept of narcissism, often used
loosely but describing a genuine personality
spectrum. At one end are individuals with strong
self-esteem and con昀椀dence; at the other are those
whose self-image depends on control, admiration,
and the invalidation of others.
EXPERT WITNESS JOURNAL
54
•
Keep correspondence factual, brief, and nonemotive.
•
Encourage clients to document events rather
than react in real time.
•
Avoid direct confrontation that feeds the
narcissist’s need for control.
•
Set realistic expectations about how long change
or closure will take.
DECEMBER/JANUARY 2025-2026
